anw i Didn get PBB. =]
yup. its indeed surprise to many ppl. its ok.but i am not ashamed.i know that no one is gonna laugh or despise me cos i didn get it. i know God has greater plans for me than just pbb alone. i know i will be given another chance to perform better next yr. i know i will treat this as a valuable experience. i know i will be a better leader. i know my God, families and friends will be there for me when i need them. i know i am someone God loves me dearly and i know i can be somebody one day, whether isit a poor or rich lady, a fat or thin lady, a mean or caring lady, God will groom me. and like what ms foo and ms goh had said, i wouldn be wearing my gb uniform when i am in heaven.
in the 1st place i chose to play hard though i did show leadership qualities, i had really made a big mistake by wearing my uniform over my shirt, chose to crack jokes which are abit overboard.i still rmb last yr's P&D, i was having everything. i was under the limelight. i went up on stage to receive my 2006 gb fortnight 2nd top individual collector award, marching smartly to receive my DI award. wow... and this yr's P&D, i was so down. i didn even attend. its a fall.
when i asked ms leong for the results, she didn want to tell me but the rest knew already,it is obvious that i didn get if not she would have told me personally. i saw fran, she was feeling upset and she called me . i told her not to tell me anything cos i roughly know. i saw ms foo and she greeted me with her sad face. i knew it. Xinru told me that i didn get. i smiled but i felt the pain in my heart. its really painful. however the other 3 of them got it. I really congratulate Xinru, Cheryl and fran. i felt really proud of them. the 1st batch of gb girls who achieved that prestigious award. indeed i should be happy because i learnt to share my friends joy instead of feeling that upset.i told xinru i go to DnT workshop 1st, but the fact is that i went to make a phonecall outside home econs room. i called mummy and i told her i failed to get PBB. mummy comforted me and asked me to try again next yr. anw fran found me. she was comforting me too.i cried alot and very long. ms liang called me. she told me not to be too sad cos she appealed for me. but actually the appeal wasnt successful at all.but i appreaciate ms liang for appealing. even as she was so sick.i went for gb day prac. i knew the girls needed me so that we can have a full run. sorry to waste so much of their time.Cheryl was crying. i don know why she felt so upset. but i am happy for her. Ms Foo and Ms Goh brought me to IMM and had dinner. MS foo said she wants to treat me. We went Swensens. thank you for the treat ms foo. ms foo and ms goh really knocked some sense into my head. they were telling me not to be upset and that i should concentrate on my studies. also speaking God's word.and yes, i got scolded by my mum. just because she doesn believe tat i was with my officers. she thought i was with my friends or so. pls la. now do you think ii have the mood to go out with my friends.she just doesn understand what i need. if i were to go home all by myself ytd, i would have been thinking lots of things.She told me not to go for P&D today cos i didn get it anw. but like what xinru told me, her officer said the bravest gb girl is the girl who didn achieve pbb but yet go and cheer for her friends.anw is not that i don want to go is that my mum doesn allow. but i am brave. i know my mum doesn want me to see ppl getting the award where i have to sit down and envy them. i know mummy is feeling very upset too. she cried too cos she knew how much i wanted that award.daddy told me to be strong. he knows that i feel sad. he told me not to be a sore loser but feel happy for my friends. but pls, i am not a Jolene Tay without God in my life. i have GOd in my life so i wouldn be feeling angry that the rest of them got it. even aft i knew they got it, i still contiue to laugh with them and crap with them because i don want to make them feel sad for me.xinru and cheryl has been comforting me and APOLOGISE to me. i seriously don accept their apology. i knew that they were not happy to get the award because they were hoping that all 4 got it. but its ok. i will go next yr anw Jolene has learnt to be strong and in God, i am strong. i was forcing Cheryl and Xinru to take picture with me in their full uniform just now cos if i didn take picture with them after today, they will have this small but prestigious badge which i failed to achieve. lol. and i told them to show off their pbb badge to me so that i can admire and at the same time spike me so that i can do better next yr because i am hungry for that badge. lolhmmm... and now our batch is the first to achieve PBB in 54th! though i didn achieve it, but still i feel proud. and yes! and not forgetting DI, our batch iis also the 1st. i thank GOd for all these achievements and blessings. 54th should continue to have greater achievements, Amen.i love my God, Mum and Dad, GB, 54th, my friends and my officers.
